Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
