he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize