he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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