Pants 0. Shit 1.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize