didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
