I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
