Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize