Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
