Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
