Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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