She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
the liver wants what the liver wants
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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