if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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