My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
