Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You have to summon your inner elephant
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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