Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nobody cheats on THIS.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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