And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
