24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
