the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
