Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
