So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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