why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
