It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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