My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
