I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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