I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
