My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
