one two three fourrrrnication!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
