bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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