Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.

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(256): View more from Alabama

she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump

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(804): View more from Virginia

He likes Jesus. Game over.

(804): View more from Virginia

Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.

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(425): View more from Washington

She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.

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(+33): View more from France

So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?

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(310): View more from California

This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.

(1-310): View more from California

Depends

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me

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