he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
