i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
