maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize