My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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