Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
