"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
