Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
