Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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