I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
