so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
