yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So vagazzling was a success
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize