It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
