I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
