hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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