after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
