just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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