I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
People in love make me want to vomit
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize