I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
