now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize