Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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