I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
