She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
