ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
