Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
