dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
