My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
