Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
