In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
