just come out here and I will go home with you...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
