I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize