I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
