At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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