no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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