How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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